Motor-nature

People like to be around people. It’s a fact of human nature that we love to love and to be loved. Finding your perfect partner and living life happily with someone is the stuff that both life and Hollywood dreams are made of.

Books have been written about the psychology behind companionship and how depression can be linked to loneliness. I understand where they are coming from too as, most of the time anyway, I like being around people. I enjoy time with my friends and family and nothing beats a nice relaxing afternoon spent with my good lady girlfriend.

I’m fortunate enough to have the ability in my daily job to work from home when I want or need to. This is great for those traffic infested days when someone chose to park their car in the boot of the one in front. It allows me to avoid the resulting absolute chaos that subsequently reigns all over motorway-land.

Despite this great benefit of my chosen career, its not something that I choose to do very often because, whilst its an expensive waste of time driving to the office, I do enjoy the social aspect of being around people and catching up with what’s going on in everyone’s life. It’s just more rewarding than being at home on my own. So, unless your one of the fine lone warriors from a David Gemmel fantasy novel its fair to say that people enjoy being with people. Everyone wants to be with someone.

This well known fact surprisingly runs contrary to a belief which, until last Saturday I had no idea even existed, but for the purpose of this Motormuse I would like to clarify this point and set the record straight:

My car does NOT need any company.

It is a machine. An enjoyable machine nonetheless, which when I’m having a good driving day feels like its just an extension of my very being. However it should be noted that it doesn’t understand the concept of companionship. It isn’t Herbie, it doesn’t get lonely. Its MY car and I know whats best for it.

Maybe you’re confused. Perhaps you already know this. “Of course a car doesn’t need company” you are thinking. Well, it would appear that the owner of KG03 ZGX has no idea that human emotions aren’t extended into a cars computer chip and on that basis I feel some people probably do need a little factual information outside of the cinema screen. Think of it as a public service. No charge.

You see, on Sunday afternoon me and my lady went on a shopping trip to Morrison’s. The drudge of the shopping grind made all the more better by going as a twosome (back to the human nature thing again). Being later in the afternoon the car park was pretty empty. Its a huge car park, also designed to cope with the business of weekend shoppers who are just wanting a look around town rather than just grocery shopping (Pay and Display of course).

Is there not enough room everywhere else?

Is there not enough room everywhere else? Note that this is only a small section of an empty car park!

I’m still of a paranoid nature with my cars so I headed over to the far reaches of the car park where only a handful of cars were parked. With no-one around, we could open those chunky doors nice and wide and get in and out comfortably. Plus, with chips on the doors (one now repaired at our not insignificant expense) already from moronic individuals who are unable to get out of their car without bashing the one next to them I don’t like to run this risk unless we absolutely have to. A little stroll back to the shop will do us good anyway.

So, we’ve parked, we’ve strolled and we’ve loaded our shopping trolley with the obligatory £1. We are ready to shop. As we get to the front doors, imagine my surprise – and immediate anger – as I glance back to the car park to find that KG03 has parked right next to us!!

Try to imagine if you will – an almost empty car park, large enough to host an annual HGV lorry parade and KG03 has decided that the best space to park, in this vast arena of emptiness is in the space right next to our car.

It’s not even like we are near the door. It’s not like we are near anything! It makes no sense and the only rationalisation I feel that KG03’s owners could have possibly come up with, is that Sally might have been lonely without Lightening McQueen. Therefore our car couldn’t possibly stay on its own in the car park without any company. I can only imagine their distress seeing the handful of other cars out on their own in the wilderness of Morrison’s finest complimentary tarmac.

So, it comes back again to that delicate balance between works of fiction and genuine common sense in the real world. I guess some people really are seemingly incapable of distinguishing between real-life and ‘make believe’.

Either that or they did it for no other reason than to selfishly piss me off. Well done KG03, mission accomplished.

August 2010