Cayenne Running Report

Cayenne Report – Annual Tax Time

A short and not terribly sweet blog update. The Cayenne is due its 12 months tax renewal. Here in the UK all cars which go on the road have to be taxed, and the costs of this vary depending on either the size of the engine, or the emissions its produces. The category in which you fall in to depends on the date the car was registered. Pre-2006 cars go on the engine size, rather than emissions, which means a renewal for my Cayenne 3.2 this year is £305. Ouch. Still, it could be worse, the post-2006 petrol models will be in the £535 annual tax bracket, so there is an upside in there somewhere!

Cayenne Report – Service Time

The annual service is due again on the Cayenne after ten thousand relatively pain free miles this year. This has been completed by Porsche Euro specialists in Barnsley, my regular technicians who have worked on most of my cars throughout the years of my Porsche ownership.

This time around it was a major service and it was also due new spark plugs, a new wiper blade, a side light had blown a few days ago so this was also replaced and the brake fluid was changed too. Another recent niggle was that the glovebox would only close with a dramatic shove, rather than a gentle tap. John at Porsche Euro informed that the latch is adjustable and it has probably become misaligned. A few minutes of Johns spannering later and I was back to the gentle-joy of glovebox closure. Marvellous!

Service was all completed whilst I sat in their warm office, working on my laptop with a dose of free Wi-Fi. The Cayenne was given a good once-over and signed off a clean bill of health with no advisories. Brakes and tyres are all looking fine which is great to hear, so here is to another 12 months of happy motoring!

Two years on – cost reflection

We will have owned the Cayenne for two years from next month and as we enter our third year of this ownership experience I thought I’d reflect on the journey so far and the costs of running a ‘luxury SUV’. Overall, I am still immensely impressed at the value for money proposition that a now twelve year old 121,000 mile car can offer. So without further ado here is the costs of running the Cayenne over just short of 24 months:

The car was due a service when I bought it which started things off:

  • Minor service, wiper blades and brake fluid: £254
  • Number plates for my personal registration: £20
  • Valet to get rid of the smoke smell (can’t remember the cost, lets say £80)
  • New key fob (it only came with one and I wanted two): £239
  • Alternator refurb and refit: £216
  • 4x budget tyres (Top-notch stuff isn’t really required for our use): £350
  • Annual / Oil Change service: £118
  • MOT: £88
  • Window Regulator and new rear glass micro switch: £330
  • Major service including spark plugs and brake fluid, plus a new rear wiper blade and front side light bulb: £394
  • TWO YEAR MAINTAINENCE TOTAL (not including insurance or tax): 2089

Depreciation: I believe the car is worth approximately £5-6k as it stands, which puts depreciation at its worst at £2k, best £1k over 24 months.

  • Worst Case (including depreciation) overall TOTAL: £4089 (£170 per month)
  • Best Case (including depreciation) overall TOTAL: 3089 (£128 per month)

I’ve said it before and I’m really happy with this car so far. It hasn’t given me too much grief, particularly notable given its age. It still seems to turn heads and attract admiring glances (either that or its one of repulsion, but I like to think it isn’t that!). It is wearing exceptionally well inside which is good for us as we use the car for all every day duties, be that road trip journeys on holiday packed full of luggage, regular commutes, trips to the local tip and everything in between. Sweets, papers, sticky lollipops and drinks bottle often end up left in the car but a quick clean up with Autoglym and it looks pretty much as good as new.

I also like the satnav in this car. It’s missing full postcode searching so it takes a bit of time to get it ready and make sure you are going to end up on the correct street, but once up and running I find its pretty good. It knows about all the major traffic problems and will divert accordingly and has saved me a big queue on several occasions.

The only comfort options that I miss on this car are heated seats and cruise control. I could have the latter retrofitted, but its only perhaps once per month when I’m on a particular journey where it would have been handy. Heated seats in the winter on that cold leather however would have been nice. But, for my purchase price of just seven grand, I’m not complaining.

Running up the total has made me quite happy at the cost of this car. Its a big luxo tank, with what I consider acceptable running costs. But it looks perhaps more expensive than it really is and for some reason the market doesn’t really like them. This hits the value and therefore makes them a fantastic used buy.

Tomorrow I’ll give the car a good interior valet and then take it for a bath at our local car wash to finish off the year with a sparkle. Merry Christmas!

Cayenne Report: Window and Hatch Opening Problems

I was driving the Cayenne last week taking a colleague to the site where my upcoming charity event is being held (Meadowhall, Sheffield – on the 13th May if you are interested! Details here). He pressed the button to wind down his window, but rather than rolling down smoothly, it sort of stuttered and flopped half way down and then refused to go back up. With a bit of persuasion we did manage to close it but since then every now and again the window will drop an inch or two of its own accord. The window button has zero effect.

Time to call John at Porsche Euro.

John suggested it would be the window regulator as these wear out and rust over time, resulting in the issue I was describing. Unfortunately its a Porsche-only part so I took a deep breath whilst he priced one up for me. In addition to that, the rear-window hatch opening has been intermittent lately, it felt like the switch was only doing its job on a part-time basis, so John ordered a new switch to be fitted at the same time.

Fast forward to today and both parts have been fixed and fitted and everything is working marvellously once again! John showed me the old window regulator (I should have taken a picture, but I forgot) and the cables and connections were completely rusted.

Total cost to fix both issues was £330. Not a cheap fix then, but one that needed doing and I am still really enjoying this car so worth it to keep the car in good shape for a while yet.

Cayenne Report: Airbag fixed and MOT

Cayenne Airbag Fault

Cayenne Airbag Fault

I took my car in to Porsche Euro in Barnsley to have a look at the airbag light. Reassuringly, during the phone call to book in John had said it is probably the connectors (a common fault) – and this proved to be correct!

The MOT also passed with flying colours, so is good for another 12 months.

John also read the fault codes on the car and finally the Cayenne has reported against the intermittent parking sensor issue – on my car it is the inner most right-hand-side sensor that is intermittently faulty. John has cleared the code and they are working again but I need a new sensor – about £40 plus fitting and painting. A job for another day, but good that we finally know which one it is! 🙂

In other news, I have also purchased a new Dyson vacuum cleaner, to sort out the mess in the car. Our current Dyson upright (DC55 – less than 2 years old) is absolutely shite, so we now have a cordless rechargeable jobby, which is ideal for cleaning the cars too! I’ll report back on how good is fares….

Cayenne Report: Airbag Fault

Cayenne Airbag Fault

Cayenne Airbag Fault

Ooooh, the little nuisance. We have a new light on the dashboard – one that won’t go away (unlike the “your side light is out” warning previously mentioned, which seems to have fixed itself, must have been a loose connection).

So it’s off again to Porsche Euro in Barnsley. I’ve not booked it in yet, so John will get a call from me next week. The Cayenne is due an MOT as well at the end of February, so my next update will probably include both of those.
A few things needed this year then for the ol’ grey tank:
• Fix the scratch I did last year (stupid, stupid).
• Needs a good clean. Starting to look too ‘lived in’.
• Sort out the airbag warning.
• Sort out the MOT.
• Retrofit Cruise Control – possibly. I’ve been doing a few long jaunts recently – and being drives in this car has made them really quite enjoyable too – but when I drive home in an evening, I do think cruise would be nice. However, that all depends on if the Cayenne stays with us long term.
We might refresh the fleet this year, but we’ll see. We’ve only had the Cayenne and the Beetle a year, with the latter covering about 1,000 miles so far. As such, I’m still very happy with the Cayenne, and wifey still loves her funky Beetle. But we do like shiny bling and so the magpies might go searching for new metal. Lets see what the year brings…

Cayenne Report: Service Time [again]

Well, it came around faster than I’d hoped or expected, but with the surprise extra of a 10,000 mile service required on a V6 Cayenne, it was back to Porsche Euro in Barnsley to have it sorted out. I’ve also recently had a headlight bulb blow (it tells you on the dashboard, which is helpful), so John kindly sorted that out for me too. Just shy of 120 notes later, and my car was serviced, oil changed and service book stamped. Happy days.

On the way to the service, there was a huge ‘thud’ on the roof as I travelled on the country lanes to Porsche Euro and it didn’t half make me jump. Nothing untoward with the car, so I presumed something had fallen on the roof from a tree above. A check at Johns place and it proved true – I’ve now got a dent in my roof.  . Not best pleased, but rather that than being my head in a convertible! Blimey.

Light Blown. Again.
Well, isn’t that typical. After John replaced my headlight bulb last week, the bloomin’ sidelight has blown on the same side tonight. I was tempted to have them all replaced at the time, as I find lights have a habit of all blowing in quick succession together but I didn’t bother. I watched John replace it though, and its a similar fare to 986 Boxsters, where you have to remove the headlight to replace. So I’ll have a go. Watch this space.

I am still extremely happy with the Cayenne, which for a car enthusiast who is always on the hunt for the next thing, gives me mixed emotions of elation that I don’t need to spend more money to satisfy a craving, but frustration that I’m not actively keeping up with the Jones’. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy with a car before. Sure, its pretty old hat now, the external body (a shape that I do like), whilst pretty much immaculate (aside from my previous scrape driving it into the garage, which I still need to have repaired) is showing its age in design when parked next to newer cars and the tech inside definitely looks last-decade.  So that’s not cool to impress the neighbours, if you are bothered about such things. But, as I eased my 39 year old buttocks out of a sumptuous cream heated-and-cooled massage leather driving seat of an utterly wonderful, nearly new £90,000 Bentley (more on that in a future update), and plonked them back into my seven grand Porsche, I was surprised to find that getting back in the Porsche was not the come-down you’d expect. It was like putting on your favourite pair of jeans. No matter how luxurious the new pair, those old ones fit like a glove and are still as comfortable as anything new. The engine note is lovely on the Porker too. And whilst a new Cayenne (2009 on) undoubtedly offers more luxury, more refinement, space and comfort, I’m not convinced that it could really provide me £20,000 worth of extra happiness. As a guy who always wants to own the next-thing (keeps me working hard), this isn’t positive-bias talking, I’m simply yet to find something that’s actually worth the extra to change.

And that, in summary, suggests to me that these cars really are an absolute steal.

Happy motoring folks!

Cayenne Report: Things I Don’t Like…

Things I don’t like about the Cayenne

Given my reports are generally filled with glory and happiness at the value-for-money proposition that the Cayenne now presents to the modern world, I thought I’d balance it with things which could have done with some more R&D. These are small things, but irksome nonetheless.
  1. The Boot. On all of the Cayennes that I looked at, the boot only raises up by about 85% of its allowed height. If you want it up at maximum level, you need to give it an extra push up with your hand. Now, that might not sound such a big deal, but the amount of times both me and the wife have doinked the ol’ noggin on the top of the flippin’ thing when getting the shopping out is embarrassingly more than I’d like to count. Silly design.
  2. The AirCon. This blows icey cold upon request – and it really is cold. Great. However, no matter what I try, I can’t seem to get it to cool the air around the car. It is either freezing my t*ts off (literally), blowing a gale in my face, or the car just stays warm. Its as though the only way to make it feel cold is to blow it right at you. No matter where I swing the vents, its either offering zero effect, or chilling you to the core. I wonder if this is simply due to the size of the car and that it can’t push enough air about the place to make the whole environment feel cool?
That’s about it really. Everything else is more ‘what you see is what you get’.
In other news… Service Time.
Again. Blimey. That’s come around quickly. I thought that the servicing was every 20,000 miles as per the handbook. John at Porsche Euro told me otherwise and that they require an oil change at the 10,000 interim, but I just hoped he was misinformed. Of course he wasn’t misinformed, its what he does for a living! Anyhow, the computer is telling me that I’ve got a thousand miles left before its time for a check-up at the 111,000 miles mark. I’ll keep you informed.
Average miles per gallon by the way is around 22mpg on a long run, and about 18-20mpg on local runabouts. This is pretty consistent over the duration, if anyone is wondering.

Cayenne Report: Sat Nav Update

I looked into updating my Nav a while ago but was told that I’d need a software update from Level A on the PCM to Level C, which would then accept the new maps, which sounded too much like hard work as it would require time at the OPC. I didn’t want new maps that much.

However, a chance encounter a recent car event and I got talking to a chap who was very knowledgeable on the subject – and he had the discs to perform the update.

And so the update was done! I had to put Level B disk in the head unit, then C into the Nav unit, and finally my new Map DVD into in the navigation drive. Voila! I am now up to 2015 maps. This is great, it now knows about various motorway link roads which weren’t around in 2005, and also recognises that my street is finished!

It brings additional extras too, such as the traffic reports and auto-diversion for major issues – something which I had on my previous 911 and it was very useful. It also has improved display on junctions, the nav will zoom in on a ‘target’ showing when you need to take action. It’s a small, but useful improvement over the standard nav of 2005.

No postcode search still – and that will probably never change, but at least it now knows the majority of street names.
All in all, it gives me the confidence back in the product and that I can now put my google maps away on the phone and be relatively sure that the nav will take me the best way home possible. Don’t get me wrong, it is still not as good as the Google Maps that you may have on the phone, the PCM simply doesn’t know about every minor delay (I still don’t know just how google knows about these so precisely, very clever tech!) and therefore isn’t as intuitive for the best way home all of the time – but it will avoid any major delays during travel.

The only thing (aside from postcodes) that is really missing now from the PCM is Bluetooth for the phone. Integration is possible via Dension and similar adapters, but it really isn’t worth the expense. There are also aftermarket stereo systems available which look very similar to the Cayenne Gen2 model PCM. These systems are bang up to date with tech, but for what I use it for, I think I’ll stick with my stock system and its updated maps.

Cayenne Report: New Ditchfinders

I have somehow ended up with a slow puncture on one of the rear tyres, which was halving its pressure every few weeks. A repair was needed and so I took it to my local ATS. They do a standard check across all wheels and noticed that the tyre on the opposite side of the axel had hit the replacement wear markers. I always replace my tyres in pairs, and so there was little point in continuing with a puncture repair. Instead I asked for a price to replace the tyres, requesting the budget variety as this car doesn’t do any extreme sports – be that seat-of-your-pants driving, or cliff mountaineering.

The tyre fitter came back a few minutes later with a price on the Simita tyres that I also have on the front, at a very reasonable £89 each. Ever the bargain hunter, I checked Black Circles who were similar in price for a set of budget tyres and so I elected to book directly with ATS for the Simita models.

The next day, they had arrived and were fitted. I’m a few hundred quid lighter in the wallet, but I knew I’d have to replace these, this year, when I bought the car anyway.

Onward for more happy days of motoring in the Cayenne beastie!


Cayenne Report: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

6,000 miles and 6 months on the Cayenne has been our chunky trooper. The time has certainly flown by and so far, overall, so good. Here is a reflection on our time with the Cayenne, along with some recent updates:

The Good.
I have a new spare-key! Hurrah! Porsche Euro ordered the key for me and it arrived a few weeks later. Not cheap at a few hundred quid, but I decided it was a price worth paying should my only key suddenly develop a fault. Whilst John was coding the key, I mentioned to him the flickering lights and the fact the car seems to rock itself when stood idle. A quick check with his expert eye and a confident declaration that the alternator was knackered. A new one from Porsche was an eye watering £800, with a pattern part coming in at £400ish for the parts only. However, John had a third solution: “I can have the existing part refurbished for much cheaper”. Let’s do that then! A week later, and a full on door-to-door collection and return service of my car within the day and John had fixed all of these problems with the refurb of the alternator. The cost? £220. Superb value!! I’d highly recommend Porsche Euro.

In other news, everything else is working fine so far, and the interior is holding up well. Very relaxing to drive. I love it. The Mrs would still like a Discovery Sport though…

The Bad.
MPG? Christ. It drinks the stuff! DRINKS it, I say. I think it sniffs petrol even when turned off.

I’ve also got a puncture. I need to get that fixed.

The stench of smoke is still making an appearance too, despite the big valet that I had done a few months ago. I purchased a bottle of AutoGlym odour eliminator to try and that seems to be really good. I suspect the headlining is the main issue, but a good squirt every week or so and it seems to be sorting it. It’s certainly nowhere near as bad as when I bought the car.

I think I do want cruise control; it is something I am really missing on the monthly 160 mile round-trip. That’s probably the only thing that’s missing really from the actual driving experience.

The stereo is a strange one. It sounds absolutely fine, and it is incredibly bass-y if you want to crank up the choons. However, it lacks the clarity of the Bose system from my Cayman, and definitely much worse than the Meridian system in the Evoque. It’s not unpleasant by any stretch, it just sounds a bit ‘dull’ on high volume. But I’m being picky. And I don’t listen to loud music very often either.

The Ugly.

Cayenne Scratch

Cayenne Scratch

Oops. My own stupid fault. I decided I wanted to see if I could get the Cayenne into a single width garage by myself without anyone watching. Heading nose-first was a no-no, impossible to see around the sides of the car, so I reversed in instead. All was going well until I got the front wings, when I heard a crunch. I thought this was merely the wheels landing on the drain grates in front of the garage, but as I continued back, the ongoing crunching suggested otherwise. I looked out of the window to see the wing attached to the bricks. Fek!! Next job: Chipsaway.

Cayenne Report: Hello, Ladies…

I bring surprising news! This car seems to turn more than its fair share of heads. Admiring glances can be spotted on many occasion when driving about in this car. I certainly hadn’t expected that, but perhaps this aging SUV still carries a degree of cache, with Father Time having softened the appearance somewhat as SUVs are now ubiquitous on our roads.

…Except my lady.

Unfortunately, my good lady wife cannot get on with this car. At all. She doesn’t like driving it, doesn’t feel in control with the automatic, and it’s too big and too clunky. Something has to be done. In fact, something has been done in that we’ve bought another car to go alongside the chunky Cayenne. Never before have any of our cars divided our opinions so extremely. I love driving this car, its cheap to buy and relaxing to drive. The Mrs hates it. We are typically somewhere off centre with our opinion of cars. Some of our previous ones she has loved, I thought were OK, and visa-versa. Not with the Cayenne. This is a love-hate relationship. But since its staying for the time being, we’ve added another car to the fleet. More on this soon… 🙂

The Cayenne will remain as our family car for long hauls and holidays as it is really comfortable for all of us, and for my commutes to the office when needs must.

Cayenne Report: Certificate of Authenticity

Example Certificate from the internet.

Example Certificate from the internet.

It’s arrived! Hurrah! In a nice little cardboard folder, it comes with a nice Porsche letterhead and hand-signed by the managing director of Porsche Cars Great Britain. Cool!!

The certificate of authenticity confirms a number of things about your car, but perhaps most interest is the options that were supplied at manufacture. For my car the list is as follows: 19” Cayenne Design wheels, Tiptronic S, Coloured Wheel Centres, CD changer, Park Assist, PCM including telephone.

That’s it! So I guess these cars are really well spec’d from new as it also has air conditioning, leather, full electric seats and automatic folding mirrors. Love those mirrors. All automatic light some robot rabbit autonotron pulling its ears back.


As mentioned previously, I took the car to a local detailer to give the interior a full shampoo clean everywhere and set off one of those deodoriser explosives in the car. When I collected it, it had a neutral smell about it, with a hint of floral. A week on, it now smells of nothing really, which is kind of the point of these. They remove any odours engrained into the headlining, plastics etc. and leave car ready to add your own scent. My preference is Auto Glym’s AutoFresh, which smells lovely. The detailer (OJB detailing) said that sometimes it might not get rid of the smell completely as smoker smell can be really stubborn, if that’s the case to return it and he’ll do it again. He also cleaned the car outside complimentary so it looked as good outside as it did inside.

Whilst I ordinarily use Spearsy for all of my work (Spearsy is top-drawer detailing), he was just in the middle of moving premises when I needed it doing, so thought I’d try OJB for this job and am happy with the results.


The To-Do List Update

  • Certificate of Authenticity. I’ll get this from PCGB. COMPLETE
  • SIM card for the Phone unit. COMPLETE.
  • Some CDs. COMPLETE
  • A good interior clean. COMPLETE.
  • Private number plate. COMPLETE. I purchased a new plate with both mine and the wife’s initials on it. I had the plate made up at the local Porsche dealer. Free coffee, browse around nice motors and the Porsche dealer title on the bottom of the plate. Finishes the car off nicely. 🙂 Update of sat nav discs. NOT DOING. After a few months with it, no in-car SatNav can even compare to Google maps on the iPhone, so seems little point. The Cayenne PCM is great as a ‘get you home’ tool, but the pain and problem of updating it doesn’t seem worth it when the iPhone can do the job for free.
  • Spare Key. On Order for this month.
  • Side Steps. Still to buy. In plan for this month.
  • Blacked out rear windows. Not Done. In plan for next month
  • Duff parking sensors. One for me to keep an eye on as they are still intermittent!
  • Pulsing lights. Still not tested this properly.
  • Retrofit of cruise control. Possibly.
  • A Porsche badge for the rear. Not Done.

Cayenne Report: Smelling Good.

Today the Cayenne has had its interior bath. Performed by Oli from OJB AutoCare, who also does home visits, he gave the car a full interior clean, including shampooing the headlining and all of the hard plastic interiors, cleaning the leather and shampoo/vacuum of the carpeted areas. He also let off a disinfectant canister in the car, which works its way into the air conditioning and vents to deodorise the smoke smell.

It now smells of a combination of disinfectant, lemon and floral, whilst the former works its magic over the next few days. After that, we should have a neutral smelling car. Hurrah! If not, Oli asked me to let him know and he’ll order another canister. Smoke smells are the worst apparently, as the stench gets into everything and can be difficult to remove. But fingers crossed this has done the job.

Either way, it certainly smells fresh and looks great. Oli treated it to a nice wash on the exterior too. Awesome!


Cayenne Report: It talks!

I’m sure the car is trying to communicate with me in Morse Code. The amount of beeps this car makes is quite astonishing. I have tried to decipher these for the benefit of all those good readers out there. Note that all of these are ‘beeps’, I’ve tried to spell the beep sound so you can hear it in your own head! 🙂

  • beep-beep-beep : Parking Sensors active.
  • BEEEEEP : Parking Sensors say you are about to hit something.
  • BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP: Parking Sensors have gone faulty.
  • boop-boop-boop: You have a text message.
  • ANGRY BEEEEEEEEEEP: You have left the door or boot open.
  • High pitched short-Beep: You are running low on fuel.
  • Bong-bong-bong – You’ve left the lights on.
  • blong-blong-blong – You’ve left the door open.

Long Journey

Yesterday was the first long trip for the Cayenne, with 140 miles covered in a day. It handled the trip flawlessly and was remarkably comfortable. Usually when I return home, the continual motorway trudge leaves me with ringing in my ears – even in the Evoque. But not so in the Cayenne, I arrived home as fresh as a daisy. Whoop!

The To-Do List Update

  • Side Steps. Still to buy.
  • Duff parking sensors. One for me to keep an eye on as they are still intermittent!
  • Pulsing lights. Still not tested this properly.
  • Blacked out rear windows. Not Done.
  • Retrofit of cruise control. Possibly.
  • Update of sat nav discs. Not Done. I tried to get an update disc from the t’internet, but am told I need the dealer to do a software update first. Hmmm, sounds expensive.
  • SIM card for the Phone unit. COMPLETE. PAYG SIM card now in the car and working fine. No mute button though arrrghhh!! Useless for conferences!
  • Some CDs. COMPLETE
  • A Porsche badge for the rear. Not Done.
  • Certificate of Authenticity. I’ll get this from PCGB. On Order
  • Spare Key. On Order
  • A good interior clean. Booked in!

Cayenne Report: 1 Month On

Evoque and Cayenne

Evoque and Cayenne

The Cayenne is going strong and I absolutely love it. LOVE IT. It is really comfortable with a lovely engine noise that is silky smooth on the motorway, but resonating sporty undertones when you kick down the gears for more power. I’ve said it before, but it is so much car for the money. Luxury motoring for bargain prices.

He says, she says.

This car is intended as a replacement for our Range Rover Evoque for a year or two, so I’m comparing a lot between the two cars.

Comfort – I think it drives better than the Evoque but the wife isn’t quite on the same page. Whereas you seem to feel more bumps in the road in the Cayenne, it softly glides you over them. My other half however, thinks that it bounces over far too many compared to the Evoque. I’m not sure who’s right, maybe both of us? The steering has more feel, but the Mrs thinks it is just “heavier”. I think the seats in the Cayenne are lovely with great lumbar support, whereas my good lady prefers the huggy-seats of the Evoque. The latter having better side bolsters and thereby feeling sportier, whereas the Cayenne is more sofa like, but the lumbar is hugely lacking in the Evoque – something you realise when you swap cars and drive the Cayenne.

Size – Its massive. We are both pretty used to driving it now, but parking it – well, you have to choose your space carefully. It is not so much the width, which doesn’t seem much bigger than the Evoque, but the length makes getting into busy small car parks quite a challenge with the parking sensors going crazy at all corners. We both like the space inside. Rear space is great, boot is huge.

Whilst my wife doesn’t dislike it, it’s definitely not her dream car. It’s pretty close to being my dream car though for a few reasons: Seating comfort, badge, smoothness, size, auto and (being a Yorkshireman)… price! Andy my 4-year-old daughter, she loves it!! Daddy has got a Porsche again!

Handy Features!

Once you have got into that teeny, tiny, space in the centre of town and you’ve backed up to the bushes with the sensors screaming red at you, the front won’t be protruding out, but you can’t open the boot either. A-ha, great feature – you can just open the back window! Whoop! This is a ace as you can just lean-in, grab your bags (or drop them off) and close again. Superb!

Yesterday I also discovered another cool feature; you can turn the wing mirror knob and lo! the mirrors will fold themselves in. Waaaahay!! I’ve never had that before in a car. That’s right, the wing mirrors close in, by themselves. Modern tech, eh. Love it!

Booming Choons. I think this car has just the standard musicality and its really good. So good in fact that I’ve reduced the Bass into the minus option as it’s really banging. A sign of decent quality if it can cope with the bass as well as the tweets. Super!


The auto is fantastic. Anyone who does long, laborious commutes should buy an automatic car. It’s a pain in the ass riding a clutch continually through stop-start traffic. The auto gearbox makes things much smoother and it is far more relaxing to drive.

Motorway driving in the Cayenne is good, but with the lower powered 3.2 engine, the auto has to drop gears frequently if you want to make quick progress, for example when accelerating from lane two to lane three in busy traffic. The lack of torque here is noticeable. It’s still fast and you have no problems in keeping up with the flow of traffic, but a personal view – with my wife as a nervous passenger – the drop in gears makes it more apparent that we are about to pick up the pace. That becomes a cause for earache so we tend to live in lanes one and two now in busy traffic to keep the peace.

Overall, compared to the Evoque I definitely prefer it, but I think my wife still prefers the Land Rover brand. We’ll probably swap for a new Discovery Sport in a year or two, but there is no urgent rush (at least whilst the Cayenne doesn’t start making itself a problem). A big plus for me is that we are no longer slaves to rampant consumerism. Gone is the finance and wasteful interest payments, and I no longer need to worry about new-car depreciation, which has cost tens of thousands of pounds over the years. That said, the Evoque held its value really well, relatively speaking but as of right now, everything that parks on my driveway is ours. All ours.


I filled up again yesterday at the pumps and we’ve covered 318 miles with 80 litres of fuel. That calculates to just a nudge over 18mpg and has consisted of a typical few weeks consisting of commuting, traffic, local roads and both busy and quiet motorways, so I think 18mpg is going to be our average. And boy do you feel it. I didn’t expect the difference from 32mpg to 18mpg to be so noticeable (head-in-sand-syndrome I guess), so visits the pump are now fortnightly rather than monthly. But, that’s still only going to be about 5,000 miles a year as come summer time, our convertible will take up residence on the driveway for plenty of top-down fun this year, with The Hulk being retired to the garage for the most part during the sunshine season.

Next up…

More to come soon! Next up is a new spare key, interior clean, private plate, pimp tints and side steps! The Evoque has sold this week, so the Cayenne is now our sole daily driver.